At one time, long ago, we were all fish, see, swimming around in the ocean. Until one day, some of us decided to crawl out of the ocean with our mutant fish hands, where we all fucked monkeys and squirrels and shit, and the first apes came to be. Then the apes learned how to use tools and jack off, and then there were humans. Then I was born some tens of thousands of years later, sometime after the Great Depression and before the Mets' only World Series win. But in a previous life, I flashed the Beatles my boobs.